The Bucket Problem

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Michigan 42, Ohio State 27

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Michigan 42, Ohio State 27

IT HAPPENED. HOLY SHIT, DID IT EVER HAPPEN.

Ace Anbender
Nov 27, 2021
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Michigan 42, Ohio State 27

www.thebucketproblem.com

I’m not sure where the last hour has gone. My heart rate hasn’t dropped a beat. I believe I’ve sent some texts. I was just reveling on the phone for 15 minutes and cannot remember a thing I said. Today is the day.

That Michigan beat Ohio State — MICHIGAN BEAT OHIO STATE — is so much more than enough. That they did it on a snowy afternoon in Michigan Stadium for the Big Ten East title while running on the Buckeyes like it was 1995? This program hasn’t experienced a more satisfying, gratifying victory since the 1997 national title season.

Five touchdowns is the new 313 yards.

Not just a win, a thorough ass-beating.

Ohio State ran for 3.5 yards per carry and less than 100 total, gave up four sacks, and committed five false start penalties. They played like so many Michigan teams of the last so many years: game, talented, and frustrated by a superior opponent. Today, at the very least, the Wolverines were the better team.

Even the most optimistic didn’t have The Game going this way.

This is why we watch.

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Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

We watch because maybe Hassan Haskins will run for five touchdowns while the terrifying trio of Buckeye starting receivers account for one, combined. Maybe a not-even-healthy Blake Corum will break a run longer than any Buckeye play from scrimmage.

Maybe Jim Harbaugh, Josh Gattis, and Mike Macdonald will out-coach their OSU counterparts. Maybe Cade McNamara will complete 9-of-13 passes after throwing what feels like a back-breaking early interception. Maybe Aidan Hutchinson and David Ojabo will run rampant through the Buckeye backfield. Maybe the secondary will ball out.

Maybe they’ll break them, force them to take a timeout before they want while gasping for air, then leave one on the board because it’s over. It’s all over.

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Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Is this Michigan team going to break their Big Ten championship-less streak and make some noise in the playoff? In the words of Bob Ufer: who cares, who gives a damn!?! You can watch football for 20 years and not experience something like this.

We just did.

This is vindication for Jim Harbaugh and the athletic department that stuck by him. Just when prospects felt as hopeless as ever, they took one last shot, and damn if it didn’t strike true.


For the first time in 24 years, Michigan has everything to play for ahead of them and a win over Ohio State behind them.

Yell it to the slate-gray sky, the ghosts of ruined Thanksgivings past, friends and haters alike: Michigan fucking did it and we’re never going back to the place from which we just emerged.

Bring your champion from the West so we can devour them. Go Blue. Ohio Beaten.

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Michigan 42, Ohio State 27

www.thebucketproblem.com
3 Comments
NPiS
Nov 27, 2021

These kids aren’t done yet

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Mitch
Nov 28, 2021

Let’s replace the Bo statue with a Hutchinson statue

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